By the time your child is three years old, she likely is in the process of building a rapidly growing vocabulary. Still, she isn’t quite ready to express everything she wants with words yet.
Your child most probably will resort to the dreaded 3 year old tantrums, when the frustrations of trying to make her needs and wants known overcome her ability to express herself in appropriate ways. The problem generally occurs when your child is told no, and often amount to a power struggle.
Is your 3 year old having tantrums? Learn to control his,her behavior with this excellent guide
So, then, what is the best way to deal with your three year old when she is in the middle of the floor, kicking and screaming over being told she can’t play with the light socket, or can’t have a toy at the supermarket? Generally speaking, if your 3 year old can speak and understand enough words to express what she wants, she should be encouraged to do so.
First, you need to get your child’s attention. This can admittedly be tough to do in the midst of full blown, no holds barred 3 year old tantrums. You have a few options on how to deal with this. The first is to put the child somewhere she won’t have an audience and wait the tantrum out, choosing to deal with what she wants and have a teaching moment after the storm subsides. This approach has it’s merits, especially in that you don’t give your child any extra attention for throwing a tantrum.
A second method is to mimic the child’s movements and tone, using short sentences to repeat back to her what she says she wants. If she wants to play with a doll, for instance, you would repeat “you want doll, you want doll.” The strength of this approach is that it affirms to your child that you understand and care about what she wants.
Once the child sees this, he will usually calm down, and you can begin to negotiate with him by saying things like “if you want to play with the blocks, you need to pick up the cars first.”
Another option is to repeat what the child wants, but to speak softly enough so that the child will need to quieten down if he wants to hear what you’re saying. If you use this method, make sure the child can see that your mouth is moving and that you are speaking. Speak in soft tones, slightly above a whisper. As the child quiets down, you can bring your level tones up slowly to a normal conversational tone.
The good news is that tantrums in three year old’s can actually be resolved in most cases, because the child is able to express what they want with words. Help your child to express themselves appropriately by saying things like, “when you are throwing a tantrum, I can’t understand your words” or, simply “use your words.”
When your child does express what they want with words, praise them for it, whether you’re going to give them what they are asking for or not. If you choose to give the child what she asked for, make sure she understands that it’s because she used her words like a big kid, instead of because of the tantrum. Reaffirm this by saying something like, “see, when we throw tantrums, we don’t get what we want, but when we use words like a big girl, we usually do.”
3 year old tantrums are very common. Just use some of this advice and also check out the happy child guide review for more tips and techniques on child behavior.
